Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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