dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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