it hurts more in the daytime
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
