I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Randomize