when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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