I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
