I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she peed on how many people?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
