I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
