Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize