On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
