that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
