before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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