sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My cat gives me a boner
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
