Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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