Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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