Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
