just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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