ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
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