how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
