Have you finally orgasmed yet?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
