Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
