I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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