Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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