corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
