You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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