I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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