No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
