Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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