No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
as a side note pls kill me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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