no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
