I wish I only lived at night.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
How does one acquire holy water?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
