Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
