Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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