um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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