This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
