Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
