Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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