This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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