you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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