I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
