ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
