last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
