Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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