Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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