you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
