fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
