arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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