Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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