it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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