Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
