Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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