Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
When are your genitals available?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
