Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
