This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
