oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
