tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize