we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
