I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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