I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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